Lafayette 2023
October 7, 2023
Lafayette at Princeton
Lafayette wins 12-9
Pregame:
We love our faculty and staff! It’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton Cannon Song]
For our show, rather than make some unoriginal joke about Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift, we will instead shout out the celebrities that are a little closer to home for us:
Celebrating these campus all-stars, the band forms our love and admiration for our faculty and staff and plays All Star
[Band forms a heart and plays "All Star"]
It’s almost midterms week! Is everyone excited? I know what you’re more excited for though… Our Double Double Rotating P!
[Band forms Double Double Rotating P and plays Going Back]
I really should study. Run away band!
Halftime:
We’ve seen what’s in the cheese caves, but we’ll never tell– it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band Marches on to Forward]
39th President of the United States James Earl Carter Jr. woke up Sunday morning, his 99th birthday, and began to worry that he will never die. The peanut farmer takes a moment to reflect on the long life he has lived and what else there could possibly be for him to do. He is a US Navy Veteran, a Nobel Peace Prize winner, founder of FEMA and the Department of Education, and– most importantly– the only President to publicly claim to have seen a UFO. According to the very reputable news site The Onion, Jimmy has completed a four minute mile, won the Nathan’s hot dog eating contest, and will go on to compete in a boxing match against both Mark Zuckerburg and Elon Musk. No one can stop him.
The band forms Jimmy’s unbreakable spirit and plays Don’t Stop Me Now.
[Band forms blob and plays "Don’t Stop Me Now"]
Jimmy Carter is the oldest president and the first to be born in a hospital. He has now lived six years longer than his successor, Ronald Reagan, who was born in an apartment building. Jimmy knows, however, that the secret to his long life is not western medicine, but a far rarer cure, which he found once elected President of the United States.
He remembers his first day in office and the visit of the great alien race that rules our galaxy. When Jimmy introduced them to the wonder of the peanut, they bowed down in awe. When the aliens warped back to their planet proclaiming Jimmy as their leader, their constituents wondered, “what makes this human so powerful?” The aliens replied by holding out a handful of peanuts. “These peanuts,” they proclaimed. These weren’t any ordinary nuts, however. They had been imbued by the great and powerful Peanut Grower of the galaxy. Jimmy had the honor of receiving this holy gift, which has blessed him with everlasting life. He shall live, forever praying to the Great Peanut Grower in gratitude.
A monolith to Jimmy’s long life, the band forms a peanut and plays Livin’ on a Prayer.
[Band forms a peanut and plays "Livin’ on a Prayer"]
We must go seek the Great Peanut! Run away band!
Lafayette at Princeton
Lafayette wins 12-9
Pregame:
We love our faculty and staff! It’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton Cannon Song]
For our show, rather than make some unoriginal joke about Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift, we will instead shout out the celebrities that are a little closer to home for us:
- DJ Darius II. Thank you for your service pumping up the jams. Our feet are stomping while the jam is pumping
- The women’s basketball team. We love basketball
- Whitman Dave. You’re perfect never change
- Roma Howard! His omlet empire will rule forever
- Sergeant Ryder– Thank you for keeping us safe and for bearing the weight of having the coolest pants. You knew none of us could handle it, but you could
- The ghost of Aaron Burr. Thank you for being there when I need advice or when I just need a shoulder to cry on
- And to all of our amazing professors, who have perfected the art of psychological warfare. Look out, Geneva!
Celebrating these campus all-stars, the band forms our love and admiration for our faculty and staff and plays All Star
[Band forms a heart and plays "All Star"]
It’s almost midterms week! Is everyone excited? I know what you’re more excited for though… Our Double Double Rotating P!
[Band forms Double Double Rotating P and plays Going Back]
I really should study. Run away band!
Halftime:
We’ve seen what’s in the cheese caves, but we’ll never tell– it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band Marches on to Forward]
39th President of the United States James Earl Carter Jr. woke up Sunday morning, his 99th birthday, and began to worry that he will never die. The peanut farmer takes a moment to reflect on the long life he has lived and what else there could possibly be for him to do. He is a US Navy Veteran, a Nobel Peace Prize winner, founder of FEMA and the Department of Education, and– most importantly– the only President to publicly claim to have seen a UFO. According to the very reputable news site The Onion, Jimmy has completed a four minute mile, won the Nathan’s hot dog eating contest, and will go on to compete in a boxing match against both Mark Zuckerburg and Elon Musk. No one can stop him.
The band forms Jimmy’s unbreakable spirit and plays Don’t Stop Me Now.
[Band forms blob and plays "Don’t Stop Me Now"]
Jimmy Carter is the oldest president and the first to be born in a hospital. He has now lived six years longer than his successor, Ronald Reagan, who was born in an apartment building. Jimmy knows, however, that the secret to his long life is not western medicine, but a far rarer cure, which he found once elected President of the United States.
He remembers his first day in office and the visit of the great alien race that rules our galaxy. When Jimmy introduced them to the wonder of the peanut, they bowed down in awe. When the aliens warped back to their planet proclaiming Jimmy as their leader, their constituents wondered, “what makes this human so powerful?” The aliens replied by holding out a handful of peanuts. “These peanuts,” they proclaimed. These weren’t any ordinary nuts, however. They had been imbued by the great and powerful Peanut Grower of the galaxy. Jimmy had the honor of receiving this holy gift, which has blessed him with everlasting life. He shall live, forever praying to the Great Peanut Grower in gratitude.
A monolith to Jimmy’s long life, the band forms a peanut and plays Livin’ on a Prayer.
[Band forms a peanut and plays "Livin’ on a Prayer"]
We must go seek the Great Peanut! Run away band!
