Lehigh 2008
Lehigh at Princeton
September 27th, 2008
Princeton wins 10-7
Pregame
Back inside the Orange Bubble, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band scrambles onto the field]
While watching yesterday’s Presidential debates, the Band was inspired to new heights of boredom. Our thoughts digressed to different ways in which the US can pick its presidents
Whatever happens, we all know that the Band will win the election in a landslide. Forming an “L” for “Landslide” and saluting the cities of Middle America that will decide this election, the Band plays “O Little Town of Bethlehem”.
[Band forms an “L” and plays O Little Town of Bethlehem]
And now… Vexing Harassing Wretching Badgering Buffaloing Provoking Desecrating Defecating Taunting Menacing Druthering Defenestrating Disgracing and Deranged, it’s the Double Double Rotating P!!
[Band forms Double Double Rotating P, plays “Going Back”]
Please rise for the National Anthem. [Band plays the National Anthem]
Run away, Band. It’s Fox News and they want Fair and Balanced coverage of you flaming liberals.
Halftime
Crashing onto the field like Lehman Brothers stock, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to the field playing “Princeton Forward March”]
With the economy plummeting towards rock bottom, the Princeton student’s way of life is threatened with extinction. Of course, a few of our habits can be changed to alleviate this problem. Some things that Princeton students are doing to save money are:
Forming economic collapse, the Band salutes the reallocation of wealth and plays “Robin Hood.”
[Band forms economic collapse, plays “Robin Hood”]
After two weeks of classes, the Princeton Freshman is expected to have found his or her niche already. If you’re a freshman and not interested in Varsity sports or a capella groups, you may want to try Princeton’s other, less intensive Club Sports, such as:
Remember, Fire Safety lasts a lifetime. Of course, Fire UN-safety lasts a lifetime as well, just a shorter, more painful one. Forming a sheet to hide your fire violation under, the Band plays “Great Balls of Fire.”
[Band forms a sheet, plays “Great Balls of Fire”]
Run away, Band, it’s Dean Malkiel and she wants to play Quintile Roulette!
September 27th, 2008
Princeton wins 10-7
Pregame
Back inside the Orange Bubble, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band scrambles onto the field]
While watching yesterday’s Presidential debates, the Band was inspired to new heights of boredom. Our thoughts digressed to different ways in which the US can pick its presidents
- A race around the world
- A hand-raising competition
- A Vice-Presidential swimsuit competition
- Thumb War
- A game of Magic: the Gathering
- Rock ’em Sock ’em Robots – AAAAHHH, YOU KNOCKED MY BLOCK OFF!!
- A Hannah Montana Lip-Synching contest
- A friendly game of Stratego: Middle East Version
- Jousting
- A Duel- Chainsaws at Midnight
Whatever happens, we all know that the Band will win the election in a landslide. Forming an “L” for “Landslide” and saluting the cities of Middle America that will decide this election, the Band plays “O Little Town of Bethlehem”.
[Band forms an “L” and plays O Little Town of Bethlehem]
And now… Vexing Harassing Wretching Badgering Buffaloing Provoking Desecrating Defecating Taunting Menacing Druthering Defenestrating Disgracing and Deranged, it’s the Double Double Rotating P!!
[Band forms Double Double Rotating P, plays “Going Back”]
Please rise for the National Anthem. [Band plays the National Anthem]
Run away, Band. It’s Fox News and they want Fair and Balanced coverage of you flaming liberals.
Halftime
Crashing onto the field like Lehman Brothers stock, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to the field playing “Princeton Forward March”]
With the economy plummeting towards rock bottom, the Princeton student’s way of life is threatened with extinction. Of course, a few of our habits can be changed to alleviate this problem. Some things that Princeton students are doing to save money are:
- Booking a flight to Tijuana instead of Cancun for Spring Break
- Wearing their polo shirts twice before throwing them out
- Using $100 bills as toilet paper instead of $1,000 bills
- Replacing the Goldschlager in our bars with “post-consumer recycled aluminum”-schlager
- Eschewing a job in public service for a more lucrative job in investment banking
- The USG has done away with the plan of a “Great Gatsby” party in Forbes with a “Grapes of Wrath” party in Butler
- Stealing from Labyrinth and giving to the U-store
Forming economic collapse, the Band salutes the reallocation of wealth and plays “Robin Hood.”
[Band forms economic collapse, plays “Robin Hood”]
After two weeks of classes, the Princeton Freshman is expected to have found his or her niche already. If you’re a freshman and not interested in Varsity sports or a capella groups, you may want to try Princeton’s other, less intensive Club Sports, such as:
- The Forbes – E-quad Marathon
- Bumper Golf Carts
- Lake Carnegie Scuba Diving
- The Prospect Decathlon
- Capture the Laundry Machine
- Alexander Beach EXTREME Tanning
- Strip World of Warcraft
- 2-hand touch Bicker
- The Prox Hi-jump
- The Pre-med Triathlon: Studying, studying, and CONTACT STUDYING
- Or you can always play “Hide the Fire Violation”
Remember, Fire Safety lasts a lifetime. Of course, Fire UN-safety lasts a lifetime as well, just a shorter, more painful one. Forming a sheet to hide your fire violation under, the Band plays “Great Balls of Fire.”
[Band forms a sheet, plays “Great Balls of Fire”]
Run away, Band, it’s Dean Malkiel and she wants to play Quintile Roulette!
