Navy 1983
Navy at Princeton
October 15th, 1983
Outcome Unknown
And now, Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band forsakes precision and intelligence and joins the Navy.
“Princeton Forward”
(Note: when each set of a number and letter in parentheses is pronounced, someone runs out a puts a cone somewhere on the field.) You look like a fine group of strapping young Band members. (G-5) By the look of those uniforms, you belong with the elite Naval Oranges. Band, you have to start at the bottom as seamen 3rd class and work under one of these famous captains: (D-2) Captain Ahab, Captain Nemo, Captain Kirk, Captain Bligh, Captain America, Captain Marvel, Captain Fantastic, Captain Stubing, Captain Kangaroo, Captain and enille, Captain Muon, Captain Entropy, or Captain Crunch. No, Captain Crunch has come down with Crunch-Berry-Berry.
“Our Director” (Band forms waves, cardboard boat rides waves)
Band, you have become such experts at cleaning up yourselves, your first assignment is to decontaminate the Love Canal. Be careful, Band, for there are many dangers lurking ahead. (A-6) The canal is rife with toxic chemicals. You must try not to become wasted along the way. Enter the first lock at your own risk…(B-9) Oh no, Band, you’ve sprouted an Aloha Deck! You’re serving Tequila Sunrises in the Acapulco Lounge! The toxic waste has mutated you into…The Love Boat!
“Tequila” (Band forms a lock which the boat goes through)
Beware, Cap’n Stupid, you’ve left the tainted, festering waters of the Love Canal. You are venturing into even more hazardous seas. (C-1) AAAAAARRGGHH! Avast ye mateys. This is Long John Silver. Long Johns, for short. No relation to Little John, Tommy John, or Elton John. Now, take hold of this puny vessel, men. Grab the dabloons. Not the balloons, buffoons, the dabloons. (Pirates attack boat while Love Boat crew fights them off.) (A-4) Well, shiver me timbers and blow me down. Julie and Gopher are too tough for us. They’re beating us back. We’ll have to walk the plank. We just can’t…slow the Band down.
“Blow the Man Down” (Band forms ‘G.F.P.’, no one but the Band understands as Groovy Fish Party)
Congratulations, Love Boat, you’ve bravely handled another hearty mission. Now, Band, synchronize your watches. You’re entering the heavily-mined port of Guadalajara. You must return to your quarters (B-4) Eighteen hundred hours. Carefully survey the territory. Round up as much booty, such as pinatas and wicker elephants, as possible. Take no prisoners. You have your orders, now…(F-9) Oh, no! You’ve sunk our Love Boat! And unlike rats, we’ll have to go down with our ship.
“Sink the Bismark” (Band forms the grid for Battleship and boat gets sunk)
October 15th, 1983
Outcome Unknown
And now, Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band forsakes precision and intelligence and joins the Navy.
“Princeton Forward”
(Note: when each set of a number and letter in parentheses is pronounced, someone runs out a puts a cone somewhere on the field.) You look like a fine group of strapping young Band members. (G-5) By the look of those uniforms, you belong with the elite Naval Oranges. Band, you have to start at the bottom as seamen 3rd class and work under one of these famous captains: (D-2) Captain Ahab, Captain Nemo, Captain Kirk, Captain Bligh, Captain America, Captain Marvel, Captain Fantastic, Captain Stubing, Captain Kangaroo, Captain and enille, Captain Muon, Captain Entropy, or Captain Crunch. No, Captain Crunch has come down with Crunch-Berry-Berry.
“Our Director” (Band forms waves, cardboard boat rides waves)
Band, you have become such experts at cleaning up yourselves, your first assignment is to decontaminate the Love Canal. Be careful, Band, for there are many dangers lurking ahead. (A-6) The canal is rife with toxic chemicals. You must try not to become wasted along the way. Enter the first lock at your own risk…(B-9) Oh no, Band, you’ve sprouted an Aloha Deck! You’re serving Tequila Sunrises in the Acapulco Lounge! The toxic waste has mutated you into…The Love Boat!
“Tequila” (Band forms a lock which the boat goes through)
Beware, Cap’n Stupid, you’ve left the tainted, festering waters of the Love Canal. You are venturing into even more hazardous seas. (C-1) AAAAAARRGGHH! Avast ye mateys. This is Long John Silver. Long Johns, for short. No relation to Little John, Tommy John, or Elton John. Now, take hold of this puny vessel, men. Grab the dabloons. Not the balloons, buffoons, the dabloons. (Pirates attack boat while Love Boat crew fights them off.) (A-4) Well, shiver me timbers and blow me down. Julie and Gopher are too tough for us. They’re beating us back. We’ll have to walk the plank. We just can’t…slow the Band down.
“Blow the Man Down” (Band forms ‘G.F.P.’, no one but the Band understands as Groovy Fish Party)
Congratulations, Love Boat, you’ve bravely handled another hearty mission. Now, Band, synchronize your watches. You’re entering the heavily-mined port of Guadalajara. You must return to your quarters (B-4) Eighteen hundred hours. Carefully survey the territory. Round up as much booty, such as pinatas and wicker elephants, as possible. Take no prisoners. You have your orders, now…(F-9) Oh, no! You’ve sunk our Love Boat! And unlike rats, we’ll have to go down with our ship.
“Sink the Bismark” (Band forms the grid for Battleship and boat gets sunk)
