Penn 2019
Princeton at Penn
November 23rd, 2019
Princeton wins 28-7
Pregame:
Crashing the Band Van again, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band scrambles on]
Destiny Eisenhour is our fearless leader. Her greatest triumphs as band president include: solving the mystery of the missing band van, bringing kilts back into fashion, and being the only person to have suffered a concussion at the hands of Santa Claus. Destiny has enough love to go around for everyone. Here is a list of things that Destiny loves.
[Band forms a double double rotating D and plays Love Drunk]
Destiny is an English major, so we wrote her a poem:
Some say the world will end in plaid
Some say in football
From what I’ve tasted of the Princeton University Band
I hold with those who favor...
RING! RING!
Oh, it looks like Destiny is calling me. Forming a phone on the field, the band plays Mr. Brightside.
[Band forms a phone and plays Mr. Brightside]
“Hello? What do you mean you’ve been arrested?” Run away band, we have to go bail Destiny out of jail!
Halftime:
Shaking children for science, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton Forward March]
According to Fox29, Philadelphia boasts 3,000 sugar babies across four schools, with the University of Pennsylvania coming in a hot second. Wait! The Penn band is old and describes itself as well-endowed. How about a little mutually beneficial relationship? You’d have to lose the rugby shirts, of course - any date would have to be a suit-and-tie affair, to say nothing of the clashing between red and orange! Now that we think about it, that would be a pretty bad romance.
[Band forms F and plays Bad Romance]
One of the reasons there are so many sugar babies in Philadelphia is because of high college tuition, which has been on the rise due to increasing printing costs as of late. Sugar babying is a lucrative industry, but if you don’t have what it takes, we have some recommendations for other ways Penn students can pay for college:
[Band forms a dollar bill and plays Free Ride]
Run away, Band! It’s time to fill out our profile on SeekingArrangement.com (1:29)
Announcer sign-off.
Alright, everybody…. This great big orange-and-black-plaid mafia is brought to you by three fierce, strong, fearless women: President Destiny Eisenhour, ’20, purveyor of decadent Pennsylvanian snacks and pure wholesomeness and always cheering us ON; our Drum Major, Rachel Lee ’21, member of a certain well-known crowd that resides in Blair and tolerator of our beverages, mischief and mayhem; and our hoagie-proffering, local New Jerseyan Mamma Mia Sarah Elkordy ’21….. Also, a nod to tzar of conducting and music extraordinaire, Conductor Conor Rachlin, ’21. Finally, absolutely nobody can forget to thank the smooth, sultry voice of the dashing, handsome, and irrevocably charming Assistant Announcer who minded the shop while I was gone who also owns the keys to the money box and our hearts as Treasurer…… cheers to Nathaniel Hontz, ’21. Ladies and gentlemen, non-binary friends….. This is your announcing compadre from the great vast Southwest, from the 81082 in Trinidad, Colorado…. This is Sally Jane Ruybàlid, 2021, signing off the hundredth football season of the band that has endured a century and plans to be around for the next. Good night, everyone!
November 23rd, 2019
Princeton wins 28-7
Pregame:
Crashing the Band Van again, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band scrambles on]
Destiny Eisenhour is our fearless leader. Her greatest triumphs as band president include: solving the mystery of the missing band van, bringing kilts back into fashion, and being the only person to have suffered a concussion at the hands of Santa Claus. Destiny has enough love to go around for everyone. Here is a list of things that Destiny loves.
- The Princeton University Band
- Baking cookies, brownies, and brownies at Murray Dodge
- Musicals
- Ben Platt
- Musicals involving Ben Platt
- The Penn, which is mightier than the sword (because she’s an English major)
- Vampires--she’s writing her thesis on them
- The song ‘Love Drunk’
[Band forms a double double rotating D and plays Love Drunk]
Destiny is an English major, so we wrote her a poem:
Some say the world will end in plaid
Some say in football
From what I’ve tasted of the Princeton University Band
I hold with those who favor...
RING! RING!
Oh, it looks like Destiny is calling me. Forming a phone on the field, the band plays Mr. Brightside.
[Band forms a phone and plays Mr. Brightside]
“Hello? What do you mean you’ve been arrested?” Run away band, we have to go bail Destiny out of jail!
Halftime:
Shaking children for science, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton Forward March]
According to Fox29, Philadelphia boasts 3,000 sugar babies across four schools, with the University of Pennsylvania coming in a hot second. Wait! The Penn band is old and describes itself as well-endowed. How about a little mutually beneficial relationship? You’d have to lose the rugby shirts, of course - any date would have to be a suit-and-tie affair, to say nothing of the clashing between red and orange! Now that we think about it, that would be a pretty bad romance.
[Band forms F and plays Bad Romance]
One of the reasons there are so many sugar babies in Philadelphia is because of high college tuition, which has been on the rise due to increasing printing costs as of late. Sugar babying is a lucrative industry, but if you don’t have what it takes, we have some recommendations for other ways Penn students can pay for college:
- Peddle knock off Quaker Oats
- Sign your younger siblings up for our research project: Uncovering the Effects of High-frequency vertical oscillation on Youths
- Give your firstborn child to Rumplestiltskin - or cut out the middleman and just sell your gametes
[Band forms a dollar bill and plays Free Ride]
Run away, Band! It’s time to fill out our profile on SeekingArrangement.com (1:29)
Announcer sign-off.
Alright, everybody…. This great big orange-and-black-plaid mafia is brought to you by three fierce, strong, fearless women: President Destiny Eisenhour, ’20, purveyor of decadent Pennsylvanian snacks and pure wholesomeness and always cheering us ON; our Drum Major, Rachel Lee ’21, member of a certain well-known crowd that resides in Blair and tolerator of our beverages, mischief and mayhem; and our hoagie-proffering, local New Jerseyan Mamma Mia Sarah Elkordy ’21….. Also, a nod to tzar of conducting and music extraordinaire, Conductor Conor Rachlin, ’21. Finally, absolutely nobody can forget to thank the smooth, sultry voice of the dashing, handsome, and irrevocably charming Assistant Announcer who minded the shop while I was gone who also owns the keys to the money box and our hearts as Treasurer…… cheers to Nathaniel Hontz, ’21. Ladies and gentlemen, non-binary friends….. This is your announcing compadre from the great vast Southwest, from the 81082 in Trinidad, Colorado…. This is Sally Jane Ruybàlid, 2021, signing off the hundredth football season of the band that has endured a century and plans to be around for the next. Good night, everyone!
