Penn 2023
November 18, 2023
Princeton at Penn
Princeton wins 31-24
Pregame:
We did not perform our pregame show before the game because the field was not cleared. Instead, it was merged with our halftime show; see below.
Halftime:
Heyyyy Natasha, I lost my script so I'm just going to go for it. It’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band scrambles onto field]
The Band would like to pay tribute to our glorious president who has ruled with an iron fist and has never let us run afoul of Rights, Rules, and Responsibilities. Natasha Hurwitch, who is definitely a real witch, has passed her years here in Princeton studying to become a linguist. To prove her language skills, the next portion will be read in different languages. Isthay artpay isyay inyay igpay atinlay. Denna del är på svenska. [pause] That one was in American Sign Language. Now Natasha’s probably feeling all proud of herself. Well, we have a message for you, Natasha!
[Band forms Mouth and plays Shut Up and Dance]
Oh, Natasha, did you not have the sheet music for that song? Where is your folder? You lost it again? Oh my lordy. Natasha keeps on asking for more music! Deforestation can’t keep up the paper supply! Quick, Band, make a packet for Natasha!
The Band forms a Double Double Rotating manilla folder and plays Land of 1000 Music Packets
[Band forms double rotating rectangles and plays Land of 1000 Dances]
Run away, Band—I hear Taylor Swift’s about to announce Reputation Taylor’s Version!
[THE REAL HALFTIME SHOW:]
Corrupting the youth since 1919, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton Forward March]
The Band would like to take a long, hard, look at corruption. Take, for example, outstanding United States senator, Bob Menendez of New Jersey. The news cycle has forgotten about that Egyptian money, but we haven’t! We still want our cut! Come on, Bob! Maybe we’ll consider not advertising it to football stadiums full of people if we get our fair share.
Forming Bob Menendez’s trip to Egypt, the Band plays "Holiday"
[Band forms triangle and plays Holiday]
On his fully funded extended Egyptian Vacation, Bob Menendez will have plenty of time to explore Egyptian culture. Like the pyramids—the ones that the aliens built. Yeah, you heard me right. The aliens. We’re friends with them. They taught us how to put Nitrogen in the soil. Now the soil is Nitrogen rich. My corn crop will grow very nicely. Well at least, that’s the impression that I get.
Band forms an ear of corn and plays "The Impression That I Get"
[Band forms a pointed oval and plays Impression]
And now, on behalf of Band President and resident Swiftie Natasha Hurwitch, who, as you
probably saw from our pregame show, loves to keep us librarians on our toes, Drum Major,
updater of the oft-ignored band calendar, and Swedish citizen at heart Julia Hutto, Treasurer
Kalena Bing, who, like the good father she is, tirelessly waits for our doordashes in the cold New
Jersey air every Sunday, Head Manager, beloved hoagie provider, and skipper of arch gigs
Megan Hannon, and Student Conductor and P.U.B. Converse wearer Cas Royalty, who is
undoubtedly the single most interesting, most stylish, and overall coolest English major in the
upper officer corps, this is your announcer in absentia, Jacob Jackson, notorious polysectional,
signing off. It’s truly been an honor serving as the only announcer left allowed to read these
shows... most of the time. Thank you.
Finally, for the last time...Run away, band, before EgyptAir breaks another one of our quads
cases!
Princeton at Penn
Princeton wins 31-24
Pregame:
We did not perform our pregame show before the game because the field was not cleared. Instead, it was merged with our halftime show; see below.
Halftime:
Heyyyy Natasha, I lost my script so I'm just going to go for it. It’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band scrambles onto field]
The Band would like to pay tribute to our glorious president who has ruled with an iron fist and has never let us run afoul of Rights, Rules, and Responsibilities. Natasha Hurwitch, who is definitely a real witch, has passed her years here in Princeton studying to become a linguist. To prove her language skills, the next portion will be read in different languages. Isthay artpay isyay inyay igpay atinlay. Denna del är på svenska. [pause] That one was in American Sign Language. Now Natasha’s probably feeling all proud of herself. Well, we have a message for you, Natasha!
[Band forms Mouth and plays Shut Up and Dance]
Oh, Natasha, did you not have the sheet music for that song? Where is your folder? You lost it again? Oh my lordy. Natasha keeps on asking for more music! Deforestation can’t keep up the paper supply! Quick, Band, make a packet for Natasha!
The Band forms a Double Double Rotating manilla folder and plays Land of 1000 Music Packets
[Band forms double rotating rectangles and plays Land of 1000 Dances]
Run away, Band—I hear Taylor Swift’s about to announce Reputation Taylor’s Version!
[THE REAL HALFTIME SHOW:]
Corrupting the youth since 1919, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton Forward March]
The Band would like to take a long, hard, look at corruption. Take, for example, outstanding United States senator, Bob Menendez of New Jersey. The news cycle has forgotten about that Egyptian money, but we haven’t! We still want our cut! Come on, Bob! Maybe we’ll consider not advertising it to football stadiums full of people if we get our fair share.
Forming Bob Menendez’s trip to Egypt, the Band plays "Holiday"
[Band forms triangle and plays Holiday]
On his fully funded extended Egyptian Vacation, Bob Menendez will have plenty of time to explore Egyptian culture. Like the pyramids—the ones that the aliens built. Yeah, you heard me right. The aliens. We’re friends with them. They taught us how to put Nitrogen in the soil. Now the soil is Nitrogen rich. My corn crop will grow very nicely. Well at least, that’s the impression that I get.
Band forms an ear of corn and plays "The Impression That I Get"
[Band forms a pointed oval and plays Impression]
And now, on behalf of Band President and resident Swiftie Natasha Hurwitch, who, as you
probably saw from our pregame show, loves to keep us librarians on our toes, Drum Major,
updater of the oft-ignored band calendar, and Swedish citizen at heart Julia Hutto, Treasurer
Kalena Bing, who, like the good father she is, tirelessly waits for our doordashes in the cold New
Jersey air every Sunday, Head Manager, beloved hoagie provider, and skipper of arch gigs
Megan Hannon, and Student Conductor and P.U.B. Converse wearer Cas Royalty, who is
undoubtedly the single most interesting, most stylish, and overall coolest English major in the
upper officer corps, this is your announcer in absentia, Jacob Jackson, notorious polysectional,
signing off. It’s truly been an honor serving as the only announcer left allowed to read these
shows... most of the time. Thank you.
Finally, for the last time...Run away, band, before EgyptAir breaks another one of our quads
cases!
