yale 1982
Princeton at Yale
November 13th, 1982
Outcome Unknown
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes a long, hard look at…Defensive Systems.
“Princeton Forward”
Yale students, how many times have you been afraid to leave your room at night because you fear you will be mugged in the hallway? Fear no more. Yale’s equipped with the Muggers’ Motel. Developed by the East Germans for use on the Berlin Wall, this system keeps Yalies free from those pesky rapists, tacky townies, and most importantly, students who forgot their keys. Feel confident before, during, and after leaving your residential college. The Muggers’ Motel…Thugs check in, but they don’t check out.
“Peter Gunn” (Band forms rectangle, whole trash plays muggers (bugs) checking in and not checking out)
The only institution that spends more on defense than Yale is the United States Government. Each year, billions of our tax dollars are spent developing weapons systems able to penetrate any enemy’s missile screen. There is the Neutron Bomb, the B-1 bomber, the MX missile, and the Cruise Missile. Besides, who wants Trident anyway? (Band shouts, “I do! I do!”) With this dangerous warhead build-up, the Band looks forward to Mutually Assured Destruction and says, “What-Me-Worry? We’ve always got the B-52’s.”
“Rock Lobster” (Band forms ‘M.A.D.’)
Today’s most popular form of defense is the insanity plea. Whether it’s shoplifting at Wawas or shooting the President, the insanity defense is the sure-fire escape route. Why, Delorean could use this madcapped method, claiming his coke isn’t the real thing. Even the Band has pleaded insanity in times of trouble. Forming a loose screw on the field, the band shows that we’re still crazy and gets off scot free.
“Mission Impossible” (Band forms a screw)
Demonstrating that the best defense is a good offense, take the ever-offensive Yale band…Please.
November 13th, 1982
Outcome Unknown
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes a long, hard look at…Defensive Systems.
“Princeton Forward”
Yale students, how many times have you been afraid to leave your room at night because you fear you will be mugged in the hallway? Fear no more. Yale’s equipped with the Muggers’ Motel. Developed by the East Germans for use on the Berlin Wall, this system keeps Yalies free from those pesky rapists, tacky townies, and most importantly, students who forgot their keys. Feel confident before, during, and after leaving your residential college. The Muggers’ Motel…Thugs check in, but they don’t check out.
“Peter Gunn” (Band forms rectangle, whole trash plays muggers (bugs) checking in and not checking out)
The only institution that spends more on defense than Yale is the United States Government. Each year, billions of our tax dollars are spent developing weapons systems able to penetrate any enemy’s missile screen. There is the Neutron Bomb, the B-1 bomber, the MX missile, and the Cruise Missile. Besides, who wants Trident anyway? (Band shouts, “I do! I do!”) With this dangerous warhead build-up, the Band looks forward to Mutually Assured Destruction and says, “What-Me-Worry? We’ve always got the B-52’s.”
“Rock Lobster” (Band forms ‘M.A.D.’)
Today’s most popular form of defense is the insanity plea. Whether it’s shoplifting at Wawas or shooting the President, the insanity defense is the sure-fire escape route. Why, Delorean could use this madcapped method, claiming his coke isn’t the real thing. Even the Band has pleaded insanity in times of trouble. Forming a loose screw on the field, the band shows that we’re still crazy and gets off scot free.
“Mission Impossible” (Band forms a screw)
Demonstrating that the best defense is a good offense, take the ever-offensive Yale band…Please.