yale 1987
Princeton vs. Yale
November 14th, 1987
Outcome Unknown
(Band staggers, weaves and crawls out along 50 yard line) It’s……..
“Liberty Bell”
Once upon a time there came to Princeton a stranger from the faraway land of Michigan. He was called Harold, and he became King of the Princetonians. And Harold went forth across the campus, assembling knights for his Round Table. He met Sir Lowe the Responsive; Sir Benacerraf the Benificent; Sir Curtis the Cautious, who blunted their swords lest they hurt somebody. Other knights included Sir Loin the Beef, Sir Rhosis the Liver, Sir Veza the Beer, and Sir Vey says — XXX. (Band blows buzzer-type note) Away went this merry troupe in search of adventure and mirth.
“Riding Music from the Holy Grail” (Band forms clapper)
Harold, this is God. (Band drops to knees and grovels) No, no stand up. (Band stands up) I hate that. Now listen. I am giving you and your knights a task. A holy mission to prove yourselves worthy of your new realm. You shall go and seek the Holy Clapper, shown here, and return it to its rightful place atop Castle Nassau. (Band plays auspicious yet foreboding minor chord.) If you succeed, you will prove your worth, and make the trustees really happy. NOW GO!!!! “Peter Gunn” (still in clapper) After many days of searching the length and breadth of the campus, King Harold and his knights came upon a castle. Inside, a lone squire sat at the head of a huge table.
1) I am Harold, King of the Princetonians. Who are you?
2) I am Don Lu, Chairman of this USG committee.
1) But there’s no committee here! How did you get to be chairman?
2) As USG President, I appointed myself.
1) Well who voted for you?
2) NO ONE VOTES FOR USG PRESIDENT!
1) How’d you become President then?
2) The Ghost of Stan Park ’85 materialized from Lake Carnegie, holding aloft from the bosom of the waters a law school application, shown here. That is why I am your USG President.
1) Well, we don’t have time to restructure this farcical student government. We’re on a mission from God. Don Louie, Louie, we gotta go now.
“Louie, Louie” (Band forms law school applications)
Finally, during ground-breaking ceremonies for the new cross-campus canal system, Harold and his Knights unearthed the Holy Clapper. They climbed the tall tower of Castle Nassau, despite Sir Curtis’ objections, and reattached the clapper with a miracle adhesive they’d scraped off the floor of Dial Lodge. The glue held so well that Sir Curtis was sure the clapper could never be removed again. The Band salutes King Harold’s round table and the many uses of their discovery.
“Also Sprach Zarathustra” (Band forms upside-down Y with flashers)
WHAT FIXES ELIS? ROUND TABLE GLUE NEUTER A BULLDOG
November 14th, 1987
Outcome Unknown
(Band staggers, weaves and crawls out along 50 yard line) It’s……..
“Liberty Bell”
Once upon a time there came to Princeton a stranger from the faraway land of Michigan. He was called Harold, and he became King of the Princetonians. And Harold went forth across the campus, assembling knights for his Round Table. He met Sir Lowe the Responsive; Sir Benacerraf the Benificent; Sir Curtis the Cautious, who blunted their swords lest they hurt somebody. Other knights included Sir Loin the Beef, Sir Rhosis the Liver, Sir Veza the Beer, and Sir Vey says — XXX. (Band blows buzzer-type note) Away went this merry troupe in search of adventure and mirth.
“Riding Music from the Holy Grail” (Band forms clapper)
Harold, this is God. (Band drops to knees and grovels) No, no stand up. (Band stands up) I hate that. Now listen. I am giving you and your knights a task. A holy mission to prove yourselves worthy of your new realm. You shall go and seek the Holy Clapper, shown here, and return it to its rightful place atop Castle Nassau. (Band plays auspicious yet foreboding minor chord.) If you succeed, you will prove your worth, and make the trustees really happy. NOW GO!!!! “Peter Gunn” (still in clapper) After many days of searching the length and breadth of the campus, King Harold and his knights came upon a castle. Inside, a lone squire sat at the head of a huge table.
1) I am Harold, King of the Princetonians. Who are you?
2) I am Don Lu, Chairman of this USG committee.
1) But there’s no committee here! How did you get to be chairman?
2) As USG President, I appointed myself.
1) Well who voted for you?
2) NO ONE VOTES FOR USG PRESIDENT!
1) How’d you become President then?
2) The Ghost of Stan Park ’85 materialized from Lake Carnegie, holding aloft from the bosom of the waters a law school application, shown here. That is why I am your USG President.
1) Well, we don’t have time to restructure this farcical student government. We’re on a mission from God. Don Louie, Louie, we gotta go now.
“Louie, Louie” (Band forms law school applications)
Finally, during ground-breaking ceremonies for the new cross-campus canal system, Harold and his Knights unearthed the Holy Clapper. They climbed the tall tower of Castle Nassau, despite Sir Curtis’ objections, and reattached the clapper with a miracle adhesive they’d scraped off the floor of Dial Lodge. The glue held so well that Sir Curtis was sure the clapper could never be removed again. The Band salutes King Harold’s round table and the many uses of their discovery.
“Also Sprach Zarathustra” (Band forms upside-down Y with flashers)
WHAT FIXES ELIS? ROUND TABLE GLUE NEUTER A BULLDOG
