Yale 2002
Princeton at Yale
November 16th, 2002
Princeton loses 3-7
Pregame:
In the beginning, God created Pat, and the Princeton University Band!
“Cannon”
With all of the corrupt politics in his home state of Wisconsin, band president, Pat Miller, decided to go home and run for office. He ran on a platform of rhetoric and old fashioned Old Fashioneds, and he won. After the band played at his inauguration, we realized that his inauguration address was entirely plagiarized from Richard III. As his first order of business, Pat changed the official language of Wisconsin to Russian, and then he promptly changed it back. The vodka stayed. Pat’s approval rating fluctuates with the state of his beard, and strangely, all the lobbyists are named Mel. Now, Pat has established a state theater that will lead to political turmoil for 100 years. Forming a little Y… why? Because we like Pat. The band says, Pat, you changed the Wisconsin state animal to a trombone. Why not a cigar?
“Whiffenpoof Song” (Band forms little Y)
And now, for our president Pataphone Patatonin Patancholy Patodius Gargapat Apatoriate Carapat Patissa Patanie Patodrama Spatly Waterpaten Patanoma Pel-pat It’s the double, quadruple, rotating 4-leaf clover of cheese!
“Going Back” (Band forms double quadruple rotating 4-leaf clover of cheese)
Paging Mr. Miller, your band is illegally parked with its lights on in the Yale Bowl.
Halftime
Taking a long, hard look at Yale, and retching in disgust, it’s the Princeton University Band!
“Princeton Forward”
Yale is the alma mater of that modern day Prince of Thieves, Robin Bush. Together with Little Dick Cheney, Friar Ashcroft, and their band of merry men, Robin Bush has had some exciting adventures as he robs from the middle class and gives to the super rich. Recently returned from a Crusade against the infidels in which he defeated the Sheriff of Afghanistan, Robin Bush set out to raze Sherwood Forest in search of oil reserves. Friar Ashcroft worked to block the civil rights of the merry men and bring religion back into politics, where it belongs. Now Robin Bush and Little Dick Cheney are off to lay siege to Prince Saddam’s palaces in search of booty and anthrax. Robin Bush plans to enter an archery contest where he’ll win the hand of Maid Marian by demolishing the bull’s eye with a smart bomb. Unfortunately, he’ll then lose her hand when the smart bomb outperforms him in a test of general knowledge. Forming a smart bomb, the Band suggests we hire General Knowledge to compensate for Little Dick.
(Band forms a “smart” bomb that says E=mc^2 on it and plays “Theme from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves”)
And now, a word from our sponsors. Hi Yale. Are you suffering from Admissions Dysfunction? Concerned about premature matriculation? Are you feeling insecure about your online performance? In the past, doctors might have prescribed Early Action as a cure. But now there’s the little orange and black pill. It’s proven effective at keeping your website up all night. It’ll even pick up sagging admissions and raise a low applicant count. You’ll never again hear that your admissions office has a headache. Ask your doctor about the little orange and black pill. Side effects may include development of an Oedipal complex and complete loss of sense of humor. Forming a complete loss of sense of humor, we salute the Yale Band!
(Band forms a “smart” bomb that says “[uspide down Y] = [frowny face]” and plays “Theme from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves”)
Thanks Yale. We’ve so enjoyed our time. We’d stay longer, but we don’t think you can hack it.
November 16th, 2002
Princeton loses 3-7
Pregame:
In the beginning, God created Pat, and the Princeton University Band!
“Cannon”
With all of the corrupt politics in his home state of Wisconsin, band president, Pat Miller, decided to go home and run for office. He ran on a platform of rhetoric and old fashioned Old Fashioneds, and he won. After the band played at his inauguration, we realized that his inauguration address was entirely plagiarized from Richard III. As his first order of business, Pat changed the official language of Wisconsin to Russian, and then he promptly changed it back. The vodka stayed. Pat’s approval rating fluctuates with the state of his beard, and strangely, all the lobbyists are named Mel. Now, Pat has established a state theater that will lead to political turmoil for 100 years. Forming a little Y… why? Because we like Pat. The band says, Pat, you changed the Wisconsin state animal to a trombone. Why not a cigar?
“Whiffenpoof Song” (Band forms little Y)
And now, for our president Pataphone Patatonin Patancholy Patodius Gargapat Apatoriate Carapat Patissa Patanie Patodrama Spatly Waterpaten Patanoma Pel-pat It’s the double, quadruple, rotating 4-leaf clover of cheese!
“Going Back” (Band forms double quadruple rotating 4-leaf clover of cheese)
Paging Mr. Miller, your band is illegally parked with its lights on in the Yale Bowl.
Halftime
Taking a long, hard look at Yale, and retching in disgust, it’s the Princeton University Band!
“Princeton Forward”
Yale is the alma mater of that modern day Prince of Thieves, Robin Bush. Together with Little Dick Cheney, Friar Ashcroft, and their band of merry men, Robin Bush has had some exciting adventures as he robs from the middle class and gives to the super rich. Recently returned from a Crusade against the infidels in which he defeated the Sheriff of Afghanistan, Robin Bush set out to raze Sherwood Forest in search of oil reserves. Friar Ashcroft worked to block the civil rights of the merry men and bring religion back into politics, where it belongs. Now Robin Bush and Little Dick Cheney are off to lay siege to Prince Saddam’s palaces in search of booty and anthrax. Robin Bush plans to enter an archery contest where he’ll win the hand of Maid Marian by demolishing the bull’s eye with a smart bomb. Unfortunately, he’ll then lose her hand when the smart bomb outperforms him in a test of general knowledge. Forming a smart bomb, the Band suggests we hire General Knowledge to compensate for Little Dick.
(Band forms a “smart” bomb that says E=mc^2 on it and plays “Theme from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves”)
And now, a word from our sponsors. Hi Yale. Are you suffering from Admissions Dysfunction? Concerned about premature matriculation? Are you feeling insecure about your online performance? In the past, doctors might have prescribed Early Action as a cure. But now there’s the little orange and black pill. It’s proven effective at keeping your website up all night. It’ll even pick up sagging admissions and raise a low applicant count. You’ll never again hear that your admissions office has a headache. Ask your doctor about the little orange and black pill. Side effects may include development of an Oedipal complex and complete loss of sense of humor. Forming a complete loss of sense of humor, we salute the Yale Band!
(Band forms a “smart” bomb that says “[uspide down Y] = [frowny face]” and plays “Theme from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves”)
Thanks Yale. We’ve so enjoyed our time. We’d stay longer, but we don’t think you can hack it.
