yale 2007
Yale at Princeton
November 10th, 2007
Princeton loses 6-27
Pregame
So, our writers are on strike. I’m just going to have to wing this one. Walking out onto the field holding instruments, it’s the Princeton University Band! Let’s see, what happened this week? That deranged guy Ron Paul raised a bunch of money. What exactly is Ron Paul campaigning on that’s getting him all of this money?
Forming a lambda for losing the primary, the band plays “Bulldog, Bulldog, Bow Wow Wow”
[Band forms lambda, plays BBBWW]
And now… Eugene V. Debs Barry Goldwater Dennis Kucinich Dizzy Gillespie George McGover n Henry Clay Al Sharpton Donald Trump Cybil Shepherd Ralph Nader Ross Perot Mike Dukakis John C Calhoun Pat Buchanan Stephen Colbert David Duke Alexei Vayner Mike Huckabee Martin Sheen Rob Biederman Tommy Thompson Mike Gravel And the double, double ROTATING P
[Band plays Going Back]
[Moment of silence] [National Anthem]
My name is the Princeton University Band, and I approved this message. [Run away]
Halftime
Elis. I hate these guys. It’s the Princeton University Band! According to NPR, Yale’s campus is abuzz with excitement over the arrival of film crews in New Haven for the shooting of Indiana Jones IV. Current working titles include ‘Indiana Jones and the Temple of Not Being Stabbed By A Homeless Guy’ and ‘Indiana Jones and the Sanctuary Steeped in Foreboding’. But aside from avoiding muggers, what else has Indy been doing since Last Crusade?
[Band plays “Also Sprach”]
LIMB REMEDIES DISMEMBER ELI LETS GO TIGERS
New Haven. Why’d it have to be New Haven?
November 10th, 2007
Princeton loses 6-27
Pregame
So, our writers are on strike. I’m just going to have to wing this one. Walking out onto the field holding instruments, it’s the Princeton University Band! Let’s see, what happened this week? That deranged guy Ron Paul raised a bunch of money. What exactly is Ron Paul campaigning on that’s getting him all of this money?
- Pulling the US out of the UN, NATO, and North America
- Lowering the drinking age to 8
- Getting rid of property tax, income tax, sales tax and thumb tacks
- Privatizing congress
- Constitutional amendment allowing marriage between men and turtles
- Returning the U.S. to the dirt standard
- Turning the white house into a brothel
- Securing our borders…with New Haven
Forming a lambda for losing the primary, the band plays “Bulldog, Bulldog, Bow Wow Wow”
[Band forms lambda, plays BBBWW]
And now… Eugene V. Debs Barry Goldwater Dennis Kucinich Dizzy Gillespie George McGover n Henry Clay Al Sharpton Donald Trump Cybil Shepherd Ralph Nader Ross Perot Mike Dukakis John C Calhoun Pat Buchanan Stephen Colbert David Duke Alexei Vayner Mike Huckabee Martin Sheen Rob Biederman Tommy Thompson Mike Gravel And the double, double ROTATING P
[Band plays Going Back]
[Moment of silence] [National Anthem]
My name is the Princeton University Band, and I approved this message. [Run away]
Halftime
Elis. I hate these guys. It’s the Princeton University Band! According to NPR, Yale’s campus is abuzz with excitement over the arrival of film crews in New Haven for the shooting of Indiana Jones IV. Current working titles include ‘Indiana Jones and the Temple of Not Being Stabbed By A Homeless Guy’ and ‘Indiana Jones and the Sanctuary Steeped in Foreboding’. But aside from avoiding muggers, what else has Indy been doing since Last Crusade?
- Making repairs to the millenium falcon
- Getting a restraining order against Short Round
- Driving zeppelins very slowly in the left lane
- [Scottish accent] Viewing the tapestries
- Teaming up with Simon Weisenthal to catch and pummel geriatric Nazis
- Earning his father’s respect, again and again and again
- Finding new and exciting uses for his whip (the safe word is pumpkin)
- Egging Kate Capshaw’s house
- Spending hours and hours playing Castle Wolfenstein
- Exchanging tips with Rocky and James Bond on picking up younger women.
- Of course, he’s mostly been spending his time searching for the fountain of youth. He’s really trying to find a way to avoid that hip replacement surgery.
[Band plays “Also Sprach”]
LIMB REMEDIES DISMEMBER ELI LETS GO TIGERS
New Haven. Why’d it have to be New Haven?
