Yale 2013
Yale at Princeton
November 16th, 2013
Princeton wins 59-23
Pregame:
Painting you green and spanking you like a disobedient avocado, it’s the Princeton University Band!
(Band marches on to “Cannon”)
Throwing the bulldogs a stick … of dynamite, the band turns to the Yale stands.
(Band plays “Bulldog” parody)
We’d like to welcome everyone to Homecoming! Perhaps you’re wondering how Homecoming got started. Allow us to explain. In the druid zodiac, October is the month of the Bulldog and November is the month of the Tiger. As the year shifts from the Bulldog to the Tiger, the tigers attack and kill the bulldogs, coming back home with their dead bulldogs as trophies. Hence the name “Homecoming.” As evolution ran it’s course, some tigers evolved into Princetonians and some bulldogs evolved into Yalies. After we turned from tigers to people, we decided it was inhumane to travel up to New Haven and kill all the Yalies every November. Instead, we now celebrate Homecoming with food, beer, and a violent ceremonial dance we call “football.” In honor of humane Homecomings, the band forms a “P” for “Princeton kicks the Bulldogs’ tails” and plays “Going Back to Nassau Hall.”
(Band forms Double-Double Rotating P and plays “Going Back”)
Ladies and gentlemen, please rise for the presentation of the colors by the Princeton ROTC and the playing of the National Anthem by the Princeton University Band.
(Band plays the anthem)
Run away band, I think that was some bulldog slobber from the Yale stands that just hit your heads.
Halftime:
It’s not a party if it happens every night! It’s the Princeton University Band!
(Band marches on to Forward)
In recent news, the British Parliament has been invaded by mutant rats. The rats are immune to poison, so they had to bring in cats to deal with them.
But that’s nothing! Here in America, mutant Yale students have escaped New Haven and are terrorizing the populace. They’ve been inundating civilians with poorly written plays and just generally spreading filth and contamination. We know one has been pooping in people’s laundry. How did the Yalies mutate? It must just be something about New Haven. Forming a mutant Yale student, the band plays “Toxic.”
(Band forms mutant Yale student and plays “Toxic”)
This fall, a group of explorers from all the Ivy League schools went on an expedition to the arctic. There were two primary goals of the expedition. First, they needed to find a new campus for Dartmouth since global warming has made Hanover too warm. Second, the Northern Lights mysteriously went out, so the Yale explorers brought some fireworks along to try to replace them. At first the expedition was uneventful, except for a mishap where one of the Yalies pooped in someone’s laundry.
Upon reaching the arctic, the explorers found some adorable seals. They decided to bring back the seals so that Harvard could have a real mascot. But the stupid Yalies put the seals in the helicopter with the fireworks. Then someone lit a match, and the whole thing exploded.
(Band forms concert arc, plays “Also Sprach Zarathustra")
Flashers spell out
YOU DETONATE SEALS
which anagrams to
SEND YALE OUT TO SEA
which flips to reveal
3 CHEERS 4 OLD NASS!
Run away band, the seals have come back from the dead. And they’re angry. Very angry.
November 16th, 2013
Princeton wins 59-23
Pregame:
Painting you green and spanking you like a disobedient avocado, it’s the Princeton University Band!
(Band marches on to “Cannon”)
Throwing the bulldogs a stick … of dynamite, the band turns to the Yale stands.
(Band plays “Bulldog” parody)
We’d like to welcome everyone to Homecoming! Perhaps you’re wondering how Homecoming got started. Allow us to explain. In the druid zodiac, October is the month of the Bulldog and November is the month of the Tiger. As the year shifts from the Bulldog to the Tiger, the tigers attack and kill the bulldogs, coming back home with their dead bulldogs as trophies. Hence the name “Homecoming.” As evolution ran it’s course, some tigers evolved into Princetonians and some bulldogs evolved into Yalies. After we turned from tigers to people, we decided it was inhumane to travel up to New Haven and kill all the Yalies every November. Instead, we now celebrate Homecoming with food, beer, and a violent ceremonial dance we call “football.” In honor of humane Homecomings, the band forms a “P” for “Princeton kicks the Bulldogs’ tails” and plays “Going Back to Nassau Hall.”
(Band forms Double-Double Rotating P and plays “Going Back”)
Ladies and gentlemen, please rise for the presentation of the colors by the Princeton ROTC and the playing of the National Anthem by the Princeton University Band.
(Band plays the anthem)
Run away band, I think that was some bulldog slobber from the Yale stands that just hit your heads.
Halftime:
It’s not a party if it happens every night! It’s the Princeton University Band!
(Band marches on to Forward)
In recent news, the British Parliament has been invaded by mutant rats. The rats are immune to poison, so they had to bring in cats to deal with them.
But that’s nothing! Here in America, mutant Yale students have escaped New Haven and are terrorizing the populace. They’ve been inundating civilians with poorly written plays and just generally spreading filth and contamination. We know one has been pooping in people’s laundry. How did the Yalies mutate? It must just be something about New Haven. Forming a mutant Yale student, the band plays “Toxic.”
(Band forms mutant Yale student and plays “Toxic”)
This fall, a group of explorers from all the Ivy League schools went on an expedition to the arctic. There were two primary goals of the expedition. First, they needed to find a new campus for Dartmouth since global warming has made Hanover too warm. Second, the Northern Lights mysteriously went out, so the Yale explorers brought some fireworks along to try to replace them. At first the expedition was uneventful, except for a mishap where one of the Yalies pooped in someone’s laundry.
Upon reaching the arctic, the explorers found some adorable seals. They decided to bring back the seals so that Harvard could have a real mascot. But the stupid Yalies put the seals in the helicopter with the fireworks. Then someone lit a match, and the whole thing exploded.
(Band forms concert arc, plays “Also Sprach Zarathustra")
Flashers spell out
YOU DETONATE SEALS
which anagrams to
SEND YALE OUT TO SEA
which flips to reveal
3 CHEERS 4 OLD NASS!
Run away band, the seals have come back from the dead. And they’re angry. Very angry.
